yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
