I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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