We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
