Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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