Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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