i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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