I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The struggles of a small town man whore
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
