i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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