hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
