these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
