We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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