My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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