I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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