i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
