im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize