is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
