Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
