You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize
