its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
