Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
