In the future we'll all be gay
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
