2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize