Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
