She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize