How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
