i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
