Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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