; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
