i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize