hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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