Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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