even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
