then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
