My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
