I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
