that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
