Swine flu. Run for my life!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
