I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
