singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
