The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
