I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
