i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
