Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
