I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
