she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
