i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
