carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I can't put those talents on a resume
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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