the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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