So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
