Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
