Don't make out with my wife yet
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
