Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I want a musical about memes.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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