those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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