They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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