i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
