id be glad to
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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