I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Small penises have feelings too.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
