did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
