Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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