dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
