3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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