just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
