your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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